EELRIJUE | CODEX | 6. Status Q

since I was young, I’ve thought something’s wrong
so I used to have my doubts, but now I love my job
...locals felt the blast for five miles
lights were something huge, everybody knew
I showed up in a suit and satisfied smile
...now it’s all just a classified file
big story, never made the evening news
easy, too, an operation we routinely do
…that’s what this country needs my team for
lifetime of silence behind the green door
...living with decisions that we never made
...prepped and trained...orders get obeyed
helicopter drop report to the crash
reconnaisance, recovery, recording the facts
the evidence, every individual case
the visuals change, strange, contradictory shapes
strangers sniffing you for the ritual chase
waking up dazed and stunned, shiver and shake
fear and doubt, feel your thoughts clearing out
always seems so easy til it’s here and now
...saw it coming but I didn’t move
just always seems so impossible until it’s you
always seemed so easy to control the story
until I had my whole world broken open for me
saw it all in slow motion and I couldn’t hold it
shattered glass of every little crooked moment
...moving image is the new religion
and I used to save the world, now I do the dishes
best role I could get, but it’s only a set
another in joke that’s over my head
but on a clear night, I know that I’m blessed
still young, dumb and happy with a home and a bed
and I’m set... (and I’m set)
I also know that’s a lie
but I seem to keep the demons down most of the time
just another broken weapon, toss the wreckage aside
but I’ll never understand why they left me alive
illusion of depth, I remember how the edges fit
I guess the rest of it, I choose to forget
the whole thing never left, never made a shred of sense
never slept the same in any bed I’ve ever been in
never forgot the shape of the lights
never quite remembered what remained of the night
that’s alright…....I never wanted to know,
...just want to do my job and go home
I like getting stoned and watching my shows
in the kitchen drinking coffee alone...
thinking monkey with a body of bones
...people listen then they see me different
so I used to talk about it, now I keep my distance
once I finally saw the feeding system...
thinking we were preconditioned to be easy pickins
...I saw it coming and I’m living proof
always seems so impossible until it’s you